AMAZING ENCOUNTER #2

Really and truly, it wrenches Baby's heart that it was she who had Amazing Encounter #2 and not Daddy. Because he's always been such a lover of The Sound Of Music (which he listens to alone in his room after he eats a frozen dinner every night) and because as a small child he had a big poster of...

JULIE ANDREWS

...on his closet door. He is her #1 fan.
And yet it was Baby who saw her at a book event and took sneaky pics of her....! She is beautiful and that voice... oh man, that voice.

Also, a little private correspondence from Daddy to Baby:
"i hope you find a way to jump julie andrews' bones. just kidding. at least ask her to sing a line from sound of music. just kidding also. that would be really mean since she has that weird voice disease and can NEVER SING AGAIN. that's just too bad."

AMAZING ENCOUNTER #1

Well not to BRAG or anything, but Baby had a really phenomenal musical experience this week, which is going to make you all disobey Commandment 10 ("number 10: don't covet when you see your neighbor's house... or wife"-- courtesy jazzy 10 Commandments song that Daddy and Baby can rattle off at a moment's notice thanks to our brainwash-via-catchy song upbringing. How convenient!) so just prepare yourselves:3RD ROW CENTER SEATS TO GRIZZLY BEAR AT TOWN HALL. (Thanks, Zoe!)
Yes, the rumors are true, the sexy drummer and I are now in an intense relationship due to our immediate spiritual connection and legit hefty dose of eye contact throughout the show.

Which was awesome, despite what this review of it in the NYTimes said... yes, the Brooklyn Youth Chorus performing backup vocals was "sweet," and by sweet I mean totally totally mad cool and awesome.Baby thought this was the gay one, but then Daddy told her it wasn't... HE WOULD KNOW I GUESS.

SORRY, Baby and Daddy don't usually force our flawless and hip musical taste on blog, but Baby had to share. Plus their new album is out and IT IS WORTH BUYING/LISTENING TO. Unless you're too busy listening to shitty music that I don't care about.

i h8te kidz

talking to elsa today we were remembering all the nicknames we had for our little kid campers. it's so fun to make fun of 8 year olds behind their backs!

-"dead stare" (her eyes were always sunken and gray and she would noon-stop stare at you with them!)
-"i could never love you" (fat girl, buck teeth...are we harrible people?)
-"mad dog" (actually named HERSELF that)
-"sheen" (which i have no memory of but apparently she wore a sheeny green jacket all the time?)
-"voluminous" (actually a high school-er on crew, but her hair was heidi-montag-big-blonde voluminous all the time at gross camp and it really freaked us out)

god i forgot the rest. molly, add to this...

BABY'S EDIT:
What about that one, PUNKY?? Am I hallucinating or something or was punky a chunky redheaded girl??? Daddy, go through camp notes and we will learn so much more....

What about the kid whose parents had taken him off of Ritalin for the week and therefore wouldn't change out of his sick orange t-shirt, ate the popcorn kernels because severe drug withdrawl made him insatiably hungry, and made you cry in a staff meeting? What was your nickname for HIM??

GA GA FOR GAGA

OH MY GOD I AM FUCKING OBSESSED

her white wigs, her no-pants, her terminator shades, her deeply profound lyrics. I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER.

true confession: i've been listening to "just dance" on repeat in my car for the last week. it doesn't get old.

this is how i am going to start to say "horrible"

STORE: sexy chairz

there is no way we are not selling these chairs in store. also this company is out of milwaukee--misewell. SO RANDOM... but chip in and buy me one for my 1/2 birthday. in black.

deadlinez

WE HAVE BEEN SLACKING AND WE KNOW IT.

things have just been crazy at work with all my deadlines. it has been really stressful. meanwhile there are piles and piles of papers accumulating on my desk in my cubicle (see above).

just kidding i don't have a cubicle. baby does though... you know what else she has? NO DEADLINES... aka no excuse for not posting.

did i mention we met whoopi goldberg last week?
we did.

better luck next time GAY

i am sad about it though. kristine can vouch that i held my hands to my mouth for 4 minutes straight out of pure shock.

i guess the big bad world just wasn't ready for you adam.

Admit you love it too...

... THE VIEW!

The day you've all been waiting for has arrived.

We know, we know, where's the whole story about The View? How sexy were the co-hosts? Did Whoopi Goldberg see you in the sale room of Barney's Co-op later THAT VERY SAME DAY and recognize you and initiate a conversation about abortion which culminated in the shaking of hands and expressions of mutual admiration??

Sorry, it's taken us a few days to emotionally process our experiences. But now, finally, we are ready.

Basically, we are changed people. The experience of seeing The View (as VIPs, no less) was so powerful that it will only be topped by the super fancy gay wedding that Daddy is going to have someday (matching baggy tuxes, black balloons, promise rings, the whole nine yards).

See visual narrative below:

it's hard to see the highlighted line on our tickets, but it separated us from the trashy jersey rif raf in line... thank god.

the sexiest bitches volunteered to dance for us

the sexiest redhead on television-- joy behar!

sherri shepard thinks the earth is flat... but look at that beautiful smile! lizbeth is pregs.

Now that our life's goal has been accomplished, what next? I feel empty inside.

2nd only to the view

kiki was secretly taping daddy at regis.
what a kook!

KAN YOU BELIEVE WE ARE ACTUALLY GOINK TO THE VIEW THIS MAURNIN'??? EYE KAN'T BELIEVE IT. ALL I AM SAYING IS THAT BABS BETTER BE THERE TODAY.

STORE

Baby isn't usually into technology, but how funny is this silicone camera skin? Responsible cameras use protection.

eat my dust you california hippie

AAAH just kidding just kidding just kidding. While there IS a healthy amount of garbage on the streets and there ARE mysterious pee smells lingering in the air of Manhaddan, Baby feels confident that Daddy will get that New York feeling as soon as his Keds hit the sidewalk and his ruddy cheeks feel the breeze blowing off the Hudson.

A wise man once said, New York is a city for the very rich, and the very young. Can you guess which one we are??

IT'S ME!

just kidding.
did i fool ya?
did i?

it's luke worrall...model/kelly osbourne's lover.
look.

DADDY IS LEAVING FOR MANHADDAN TOMORROW NIGHT AND IS SEMI-EXCITED ABOUT IT.

although he wonders, this time, if he will even like it at all.
once daddy's dream, ny has quickly fallen to 2nd place on daddy's totem pole of u.s. cities--now that he's a west coastie.

will it ever redeem itself in his eyes?
only time will tell.

WHATEVER

daddy is a BAD blogger.
he knows it.
he doesn't care right now.























although he did have a fun weekend with koto, a japanese band manager, and his friends.

MORE poncho action!

If this doesn't bring a smile to your face on a rainy day, then I think you left your heart in San Francisco.

MY MARTA

Marta says the interesting thing about fly fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta. Grow up.

"prince's club prince's club prince's club"

THANK THE SWEET LORD baby is leaving MN. i mean the whole time she was there, ALL i kept hearing was "prince's club this" and "prince's club that"...

GET OVER yourself baby. i know you have wet dreams about him almost almost as often as you do frasier, but that is no reason to FREAK OUT the entire weekend about how your hotel was right next door.
it's also no reason to stay up all night at the window of your dark hotel room hoping to catch a glimpse of him all because of some "rumor" the librarians at your conference started.
MOVE ON.

mmmmmmm...

disturbed daddy

as you may or may not know, daddy takes caltrain to work everyday. today we made an unscheduled stop and were told that the train might not get moving again for up to an hour. a few minutes later they reveal to us that there has been a FATALITY on the tracks in mountain view (my station).

we eventually start moving, but our train is going slow as a slug so i'm of course falling asleep..."trying" to read...etc. about 15 minutes later i see some police out the window, and before i knew we were rolling by a dead body under a tarp. it was really disturbing and made me uncharacteristically sad.

WHAT'S EVEN FREAKIER is that once i got to the office i found out that a woman had committed suicide on the tracks in almost the SAME PLACE yesterday.

also, not to keep discussing train suicides, but these were the first two caltrain deaths this year...last year there were over 20. does that seem like a shit ton to anyone else?

here's an article

TRAVELING BABY

Baby's going to Minnesota tomorrow for biznaz. Mainly she is excited to go to a GOOD TARGET! Let's hope she doesn't get swine flu there. She hears people in MN are super friendly and rarely wash their hands...

We will see if Daddy keeps up his end of the bargain while baby is away. Unreliable Daddy might get lazy like he is about reading books.

SWINE FLU

People are wearing masks!

That's all I really have to say, just thought there should be a swine flu post.