I TRY TO SHOP LOCAL, BUT TARGET'S JUST EASIER

sometimes i forget about how target was literally our shopping OASIS in college. archer farms chips, merona moccasins, that beautiful isaac mizrahi floral print dress... talk about retail therapy! there were just so many memorable purchases over those four years, don't EVEN get me started.

anyway daddy and roommate ventured there last night for decorations for our xmas cactus. they actually ran out of lights, had a meager selection of ribbon, and the holiday area looked like a bomb had gone off, but i guess we still had fun. we had to go next store to michaels to get lights though. all we really got at target was a container of "instant cavity" toffee popcorn and a bottle of yellow tail we got charged twice for. overall it was a positive experience though. i really really like target.

THIS IS WHAT THEY LIKE TO CALL "UPCYCLING"

up-cy-cle
[verb] :
the process of converting waste materials or useless products into new materials or products of equal or better quality.

i love that these bags by teamwork are made of old sails. we should all be doing this more often. finding old shit and making things out of it. because you know what? i don't know if you've heard, but scientists are saying we should start respecting the earth and it's resources and crap... and i'm like really really environmental now so listen to me.

I'VE BEEN INSPIRED TO UNEARTH MY OLD ROCK COLLECTION

as a kid daddy didn't have a whole lot a friends. so sadly trips to "the rock shop" in evanston were a big thrill (i even asked for rocks for christmas). ANYWAY i treated these rocks like the friends i didn't have. i took care of them. i counted them. i researched them. i labeled them. I occasionally played rock dress-up. i proudly displayed them on a set of shelves in my bedroom.

but then in high school, when i became devastatingly popular, i put them in storage so my lonely past could no longer haunt me.

but you know what? NOW I'M READY TO TAKE THEM OUT AGAIN.

ps baby- we are selling rocks and gems at store. deal with it.
photo from t magazine

BRIDAL BORINGNESS

So basically I want to have a ring on my finger by the time I'm 25... JUST KIDDING. Really I want to be divorced by the time I'm 30.

But let's get real, brides-to-be. Why white? Why strapless? Are there any two less flattering styles for most women? And BALLGOWNS? I thought you were a logical, sane woman who makes clear-headed decisions. Except, apparently, on your wedding day, when you choose to look like every other who-ha walking down the aisle.

THIS IS WHY I am enthused that Vera Wang showed a black dress in her recent bridal collection (yes I see that it is strapless).

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO SOMETHING INTERESTING.

Are you hearing this Daddy, future man of honor?

I WISH I COULD BUNDLE UP A LITTLE MORE

while i think everyone should be jealous that i live in one of the few mediterranean climates in the world, i think you should also pity me because i can no longer wear my heavy, wool, bolivian ponchos. or scarves and hats.

from stil in berlin

I AM SICK OF SKINNY JEANS ALREADY

doesn't this just look so much fresher? is that a word? more fresh? WHATEVER.

i mean if we're at the point where you can get skinny jeans at scary places like kohls and penny's (thats right, i call it penny's) then it's really time to move on. i can't say i'll be converting 100% just yet, but daddy likes that heavier proportioned bottoms are FINALLY back.

i just might pull out my saggy old abercrombie boot-cuts from high school... just kidding, that's the wrong kind of baggy.

from fashionisto

GETTING ALL SAPPY ABOUT AUTUMN

Is kind of stupid. Because if fall was truly like the image above, I could see getting all mushy about it. But how many afternoons so far have you spent frolicking with your saggy hatted lover through flowering prairie grasses? How many pumpkin patches have you hit up? How many barn jackets have you worn?

That's right. Not too many.

DON'T FORGET TO PAR-D THIS WEEKEND

and the key to a great par-d is balloons. lots and lots and lots of balloons. like so many balloons that you can't really see the other people. baby has said it before and i'll say it again...BALLOONS ARE JUST SEXY DAMN IT. oh and there should also be a little boy sleeping in cherub position on the couch. that's the other key thing.

GO AHEAD. CALL ME A PIECE OF TRASH. I DESERVE IT.

...because i've started eating subway for lunch (collar tug). sorry everyone, but i don't work in manhaddan like baby. i work in moundain view. i don't have a plethora of lunch options.
it all started a few months ago. it was lunch time. i was poor. i was car-less. subway was my only choice.
i swear to the sweet lord that the last time i ate subway was as an 11 year old when i would ride my bike to that awkward strip mall in northfield, il.
now, (hold your breath) i've been there more times than i can count! i know the people who work there! there is a subway cup next to me AS I'M TYPING THIS!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW MYSELF ANYMORE.

"do you want chips and drink?"
"FUCK YEAH i want chips and drink!"

YOU KNOW I'M OBSESSED WITH PRE-LOVED LEATHER FURNITURE.

throw your hermetically sealed, overstuffed, micro-fiber sofas into the bonfire... because delicate, uncomfortable, tattered, leather furniture is WHERE IT'S AT.
it will smell, hurt your back, and only a fraction of your friends will understand why you proudly display it in your house. but you know what? grow a pair.

OLIVIA IS REALLY FRIENDLY.

oh olivia-fucking-palermo. i bet you just loved pretending like you had SO MANY important things to do that you couldn't stop and act even slightly flattered that scott schuman took your picture. it's fine, DON'T EVEN CRACK A SMILE... that's why we love you olivia.

which reminds me, hasn't the city started?
the sartorialist

RANTS AND RAVES: TRANSITIONS LENSES SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.

here's my rant about transitions lenses. no matter how many times the commercials tell you they are the "way of the future" they look BAD. they look BAD ALL THE TIME. they're always in that awkward stage between glasses and sunglasses, which make's you either look like some CREEP SHOW from the 70's or a trailer trash grandma. no offense to anyone living in a trailer. i sorta grew up in one too.
until they can change from completely black to completely clear in MILLISECONDS i ban you from wearing them.
that's right, BAN YOU.

this all came from seeing two otherwise NORMAL, COOL dudes on the train who completely ruined their lives with those horrible glasses.

DADDY WAS TOWED.

EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS NO SIGN LIKE THIS ONE AND I WASN'T EVEN BLOCKING A REAL DRIVEWAY. IT WAS A GATE TO AN ENTRANCE TO AN EMPTY DIRT LOT UNDERNEATH THE HIGHWAY SO HOMELESS PEOPLE DON'T SET UP CAMP. A GATE THAT PEOPLE PARK IN FRONT OF ALL THE TIME.

THANK YOU FOR COSTING ME $375 DOLLARS, RANDOM CONSTRUCTION WORKER. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU NEEDED TO GET INTO THAT GATED PILE OF DIRT YESTERDAY, BUT I'M HAPPY YOU CHOSE THE DAY THAT I WAS PARKED THERE.

OFF SEASON ADVICE

The Vogue Most Wanted Lists always crack Baby up... especially the most recent one telling people how to wear shorts in the winter... leather shorts. Hey, why not wear these black leather shorts at the office? How about a sunny afternoon? Well I HOPE it's sunny, otherwise you are literally going to freeze your ass off. I'd also like to point out that Vogue's offices are in New York, in New York City where IT IS TOO COLD IN THE WINTER TO WEAR SHORTS!

Get more odd advice at style.com/vogue/mostwanted

SHHHHH IT'S A SECRET

Okay promise NOT TO TELL ANYBODY, and I will tell you a secret. I'm serious. NOBODY. Are you ready? It's this magical land that time forgot and the government just remembered, and it's called Governor's Island. Between Brooklyn and Manhattan is a former military outpost and just plain awesome place that seriously feels like it's right out of the 1960's (not that I was alive then, but hey, I've seen movies).

--Scary light installation in an old church.

--There was a dutch festival going on, so there were some MAJOR HOTTIES (I love Danes!) and majorly sexy signs... Daddy would have loved it.

SCRIBBLEZ

Lest someone judge the "Scribbles" mural by Karl Haendel (on bway/howard) and say I could do that, (which is a cowardly interpretation of abstract art, don't even get baby started!) just absorb this:

"It's goofy and humorous and small. But this kind of mark making is a simple gesture that people can relate to on a basic level. It doesn't take itself too seriously."

Thanks Karl. You know baby and daddy like big, lighthearted art.

I JUST THINK THINGS SHOULD WORK PROPERLY

Public restrooms in NYC are the most disgusting that I've ever encountered in all my years. Even at nice places-- overflowing trash cans, years and years of grime and bathroom goo... But say hello to an odd trend-- really fancy new hand dryers- Xcelerators, Dysons-- in these otherwise repellent toilettes.

It's like someone said to themselves, "Hey, is our bathroom so disgusting that patrons would rather hold it until they get home even though they probably have a long and bumpy subway ride/walk situation than use our completely unsanitary disease-and-creature-infested restroom? I have a solution! No, not cleaning and/or remodeling them. How about new, faster hand dryers?! That way everyone can exit our repulsive bathrooms faster."

RANTS AND RAVES

WHY CAN'T MORE BOOKS BE THIS SEXY LOOKING?

but really. all we need is a simple cover that doesn't look too contrived in a MATTE FINISH. glossy ruins it right away. take it from someone who definitely does judge a book by it's cover.

this is a pic of robert rauschenberg taken by richard avedon for those of you who don't have brains or eyes or lives... or hearts.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SWAG BABY GOT FOR HER BIRTHDAY

An amazing pink tutu, spinach deep dish pizza, flown in from Chicago on dry ice, a genuine sheep skin, an Alexander Girard pillow, and a bike ride around NYC.

Baby CASHED IN this year! Birthdays are for getting stuff from other people and being recognized for being better than everybody else.