12.02.2008

baby's adventure: a sad story told through dance

This morning, Baby had a lecture to attend in Harlem.



"Exciting!" she thought. "Of course, I will take the train there!"

So she looked it up and figured out how to get from her apartment to the lecture hall. She looked at maps and also at the Internet.

"Ah," she said to herself. "I am good at this kind of thing. I will get there easily. And on time as well."

So off she went.

Baby was supposed to take the "3" train, according to her directions. However, in Baby's part of Manhattan, the "1" "2" and "3" trains all run on the same track, the "1" being Local, and the "2" and "3" being Express.



So Baby got on a "1" train when it came, figuring it would take longer, but still get her to the same place. Baby doesn't like to wait.



Baby sat on the train, reading her Domino magazine, feeling surprisingly pleased that there was a cute man on the train with her. Cute men are NOT a dime a dozen as one might expect in a gigantic city. They are more like a penny in a big bag of dirty leaves.

When her stop came, Baby got off the train and peeked outside. Baby suddenly had a bad feeling. Baby suspected she might be

"Uh oh," Baby said to herself. "My map doesn't go this high." For some reason, Baby's stupid map doesn't go above 125th street, even though there is still a lot of Island above that. In fact, there is so much Island above that that some of the names of streets change, making for even more confusion when Baby gets lost.

It turns out that it is crucial to understand that the "1" splits off from the "2" and the "3" and takes its passengers WAY to the west side of the island, and the "2" and the "3" take them more towards the center/east of the island.

Baby likes referring to "the island".

Baby wandered for a little bit, heading East, then West, unfamiliar with the names of the avenues- not numbers, as she expected, but historical figure names. This did not please Baby.

Finally, Baby came upon a policeman guarding a construction site.


Nice policeman told Baby that she was way across the park from where she needed to be, and that the park is not a nice place to walk across, and that Baby should catch the 101 crosstown bus.

Meanwhile, Baby should have been enjoying coffee and conversation with fellow lecture attendees. Instead, Baby was running to catch the 101, which a lot of feeble and cranky people take, making the bus take even longer to get Baby nearer to her final destination.


For which Baby shows up 30 minutes late. And also really warm from a lot of walking on a cold day. And without any coffee in her system.



Additionally, Baby wants everyone to know that she would have been perfectly on time, but that she enjoyed the lecture immensely.

1 comment:

Luke said...

oh god baby
that was too good