10.30.2009

GO AHEAD. CALL ME A PIECE OF TRASH. I DESERVE IT.


...because i've started eating subway for lunch (collar tug). sorry everyone, but i don't work in manhaddan like baby. i work in moundain view. i don't have a plethora of lunch options.
it all started a few months ago. it was lunch time. i was poor. i was car-less. subway was my only choice.
i swear to the sweet lord that the last time i ate subway was as an 11 year old when i would ride my bike to that awkward strip mall in northfield, il.
now, (hold your breath) i've been there more times than i can count! i know the people who work there! there is a subway cup next to me AS I'M TYPING THIS!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW MYSELF ANYMORE.

"do you want chips and drink?"
"FUCK YEAH i want chips and drink!"

THANKS AGAIN DADDY


Check out this really nice memory: Like 10 years ago, Daddy ventured over to Baby's house the night before she was moving away FOREVER to NYC. Baby was paralyzed with stress and of course, getting distracted and spending a lot of time alternating between sitting on her floor and sitting on her bed.

Daddy saved the day and packed up Baby's entire hanging closet like the tender, loving boy that he is underneath that prickly, rough, beastly, mottled exterior.

Also, remember how we said special goodbyes to Lake Michigan, Daddy? We're oddly sentimental when it comes down to it. And MAN, do I miss that lake! Daddy... not so much.

MOVING OUTFIT


These looks from Celine's resort collection would be perfect for hauling my stuff from the west side to the east side of Manhaddan (aka monitoring the people who have been hired to haul my stuff from the west side to the east side of Manhaddan).
JK-- but for real I'm loving military green khaki, and have been for a while. THANX Phoebe Philo!

10.29.2009

TAKE A CHILL PILL.


i know everyone's shortening it down to "chill" these days, but i'm SO over abbreves.
they totes suck, and def aren't cool to use anymore. plus uttering the whole phrase "take a chill pill" under your breath is just so CLASSIC.
BRING IT BACK.

WHAT ARE YOU BEING FOR HALLOWEEN? PLEASE DON'T BE A SLUT...


instead, how about covering your ENTIRE BODY?
i don't understand why more people aren't into the idea of CLASSIC halloween costumes. i'm talkin' pumkins, witches, toilet paper mummies, SHEET GHOSTS.

i know i've been pushing this whole sheet ghost idea for a while now... even though i myself have never done it, BUT IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY. you could even get a bunch of people and be a sheet ghost family!

sheet ghost idea is good for groups.

DRAKE

Is there a funnier man name than Drake? I don't think so.

DESK ENVY

Giant gold desk? Amazeballs.
Sexy midcentury chair? Yes please.
White lacquered worktable? Giant.

I'm ready to accept that I have a problem. Lately I've been sinfully covetous of those who have desks-- yet Daddy, who has PLENTY of space in his giant light-filled bedroom for one, is a stupid cooze and doesn't have one. DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU ARE MISSING?

I STILL LOVE TO WASH IN YOUR OLD BATHWATER


I know it's potentially kind of trashy indoor jacuzzi, but this sunken regular tub is SO sexy.


from nytimes.com

10.28.2009

WTF J.CREW




how is your menswear so fashion forward all of a sudden? WHERE ARE MY WHALE PANTS? MY CARGO SHORTS? MY MADRAS BELTS?
to be fair, i have noticed you've upped the ante in the last year or two, but now it ACTUALLY seems up to par with the women. you've finally stopped putting out the same baggy, boring "basics" year after mother fucking year.
i'm still not going to shop with you much (i'm too wealthy)... but thanks anyway.

10.27.2009

I WAS TOLD THERE'D BE NO MATH ON THIS EXAM


I can feel it in the wind: NOW IS THE TIME for Reality Bites. AKA Baby's favorite movie. Add it to your Netflix queue if you weren't cool enough in the 90s to know what was up. Or if you didn't have wicked cool big sisters.

10.26.2009

YOU KNOW I'M OBSESSED WITH PRE-LOVED LEATHER FURNITURE.



throw your hermetically sealed, overstuffed, micro-fiber sofas into the bonfire... because delicate, uncomfortable, tattered, leather furniture is WHERE IT'S AT.
it will smell, hurt your back, and only a fraction of your friends will understand why you proudly display it in your house. but you know what? grow a pair.

ANOTHER REASON I WISH I WERE STILL A KID


As if kids don't already have it all-- their main concerns are Having Playtime and Getting Candy, other people prepare all their meals and tell them when to bathe, it's unlikely that they're yet addicted to caffeine or need alcohol to fall asleep at night, and they've probably never uttered the phrase, "can we stop at an ATM? I need to take out some cash."

But mostly I am jealous of kids today because Stella McCartney is designing affordable clothes for them at the Gap.

Stupid fricking cute kids.

I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT


Baby and Daddy like silken trousers! Baby is considering the ones from JCrew. This purchase is obviously dependent on them NOT fitting like bizarre too-long casual centaur pants.

10.23.2009

I THINK SHE IS SO COOL FOR SOME REASON. MAYBE IT'S THAT ANGULAR FACE.


anna dello russo

stockholm streetstyle

THERE, THERE.


no reason to be so glum, chris. i know it has been a tiring first few days with baby in manhaddan... what with her talking your ear off, dragging you from one corner of the city to the next on her exhausting shopping escapades, forcing you to get a week-long membership to equinox so you can be "workout buddies"... not to mention her taxing love-making schedule.

don't worry. you'll be at carol's house soon enough.

10.22.2009

YEAH, WHATEVER. NO BIG DEAL.




scott schuman (aka the sartorialist) had his san francisco book signing last night. after waiting in line for HOURS (like LITERALLY almost 3 hours...alone...) i got up to the table, confidently shook his hand, sat in a large wingback chair, chatted for a bit about how the girl in front of me was a cupcake maker, took the most AWKWARD picture of my life, and then walked off stage.

oh yeah. he also yelled after me "nice to meet you luke!"

he was surprisingly really talkative with everyone. the only reason i was in line for 3 hours is because he literally struck up a convo with each and every person. he also had this random microphone he shoved into a few people's faces, forcing them to answer questions in front of the whole store. WHAT A GOOF.

another thing that BLEW MY MIND was how many people in line were dressed like they were waiting to get bottle service in the VIP area of some tacky club. THIS IS A BOOK SIGNING. TAKE OFF YOUR GIGANTIC PLATFORMS AND SLUTTY DRESSES... YOU'RE JUST EMBARRASSING YOURSELVES.

10.21.2009

SHE'S ALWAYS BUZZING JUST LIKE NEON.



GOD, don't you just miss that john mayer song SO HARD?
actually the purpose of this post is to tell you how i'm having a big boner thinking about a sexy neon sign for store. maybe it will be somewhat illegible (1st) or maybe it will be straight forward (2nd). only time will tell...
again, sorry to keep talking your ear off about store, BUT IT'S ALL WE HAVE.

LET'S JUST CALL IT WHAT IT IS.






















much like how our store will be called "store," this magazine is called "magazine." get it? calling it what it actually is. it's like a zen thing... you know the old joke...

DADDY'S NEW BED.

10.20.2009

OLIVIA IS REALLY FRIENDLY.






















oh olivia-fucking-palermo. i bet you just loved pretending like you had SO MANY important things to do that you couldn't stop and act even slightly flattered that scott schuman took your picture. it's fine, DON'T EVEN CRACK A SMILE... that's why we love you olivia.

which reminds me, hasn't the city started?
the sartorialist

MY NEXT DRESSER.





















Chest of Drawers by Tejo Remy, 1993. SEE... there was some cool stuff in the early 90's.

10.17.2009

SITTING QUIETLY, DOING NOTHING


Baby got this picture from a French website, so I don't know what the captions said or really at all what anything meant or where I was. Isn't the Internet weird? Sorry dear friends, my French is a little rusty, not quite what it was during my many many years abroad living in the French Riviera, so long ago.

But seriously, these are some classy chairs. I'd sit quietly in any of them.

A DREAM IS A WISH YOUR HEART MAKES


But this one will probably never come true. Jeep Wagoneer, car of my truest desires. And wouldn't it be perfect for kampink? She will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine.

10.16.2009

DADDY IS GOING CAMPINK.



















you think that's funny? yes, i camp. i have gone camping in the past. i don't get why everyone finds it sooooo hard to imagine me as a camper.

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT





Why is Milk magazine the coolest magazine ever? (rhetorical question)

RANTS AND RAVES: TRANSITIONS LENSES SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.













here's my rant about transitions lenses. no matter how many times the commercials tell you they are the "way of the future" they look BAD. they look BAD ALL THE TIME. they're always in that awkward stage between glasses and sunglasses, which make's you either look like some CREEP SHOW from the 70's or a trailer trash grandma. no offense to anyone living in a trailer. i sorta grew up in one too.
until they can change from completely black to completely clear in MILLISECONDS i ban you from wearing them.
that's right, BAN YOU.

this all came from seeing two otherwise NORMAL, COOL dudes on the train who completely ruined their lives with those horrible glasses.

PINK ENCOURAGES CONFIDENCE AND ACTION


Baby has the itch to paint once she (finally) gets a new apartment.
from apartmenttherapy

10.15.2009

ACNE IS MY WET DREAM.





i've been not so secretly obsessed with Acne for a few years now... ever since i read an article about the company in nordic reach magazine at my grandparents house (yeah, they're like really really hip). ANYWAY Acne is awesomely kewl. not only do they have amazing clothes, they publish a magazine, produce music and film, AND make furniture. AND they're swedish. nuff said.

check out this NYTIMES article

10.14.2009

CAN I BE YOU? THANKS.

PRIVATE CORRESPONDENCE: BABY ONCE AGAIN CALLS DADDY POOR.

Mollyanne: SORRY
I WILL KALL U
BABY WAS TALKING TO HER ACCOUNTANT
Mollyanne: ALSO baby is allegedly getting a refund!!!!
from the GOVERNMENT
me: do you literally have a PERSONAL accountant?
Mollyanne: of course i do
what, do you file your taxes YOURSELF?
hahaha
you're like a peasant

HE'S BEEN IN THE AUDIENCE OF DANCING WITH THE STARS LATELY BECAUSE HE'S KELLY OSBOURNE'S BOYFRIEND.






















AND his name is luke. AND he has a dope-ass lip ring.
i also give him snaps for being a model and dating a "healthy" sized girl... just like baby.

GAGA IS BACK FOR MORE.




















AND SEXIER THAN EVER! apparently this is one of the pictures hedi slimane took for gaga's album re-release cover... which apparently will also have 8 new songs. it comes out november 24th and you can BET YOUR LUCKY STARS daddy will be camping outside best buy ALL NIGHT LONG so he can be one of the firsts to have it. he really loves gaga.

10.12.2009

SHE'S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HER HANDS


Look who else is a lover of interesting globes-- My Diane!

BABY MAY STILL HAVE A GIANT BONER FOR YOU, BUT YOU HAVE GONE TO THE DARK SIDE IN MY EYES JOHN STOSSEL.






















apparently we're adding one more name to the "conservative cunts" category in our list of fellow new trier alum. John Stossel, one of baby's favorite tv journalists (famous for his "give me a break" segments on 20/20) switched from ABC to FOX FUCKING NEWS. well actually fox business channel... but according to the nytimes he will also make regular appearances on fox news.
charlton heston ? check.
donald rumsfeld ? check.
john stossel ? CHECK.

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT.

10.09.2009

WHY YOU GOTTA WASTE MY FLAVA?


Baby has to reccommend the current show, "Dess Codes" at the International Center of Photography in NYC. Especially the video portrait of Cate Blanchett. Baby knows good video art when she sees it-- Baby made a video art piece in college where she conned her friend Kayce into appearing in her underpants and t-shirt. But who didn't do that in college?
from nytimes.com

SOMEONE ELSE'S STORE


This is not our store. But I like the shabby exterior. And the people hanging out. These are things Store will also have. Additionally, Store will have us. And my sheepdog, Nana.

DADDY OFFICIALLY HAS A SHOE FETISH.






















expect to see him walking around in a pair of these new alexander mcqeens this weekend! just kidding. these aren't out till spring 2010. i'll just be in my be in my regular heels this weekend.

from nytimes