Goodbye, old friend

I lost you, classy tortoise BluBlockers, in Lake Michigan, so at least I know you're resting in a peaceful place-- no sharks, just fake sand, high levels of bacteria and the occasional floating condom.

BUT STILL. Life will never look as pretty as it did through your polarized lenses, optimized for driving. Plus your oversized aviator shape was universally flattering.

I know I could order a new pair from the world wide web, but it's just not the same as buying you from a suburban Walgreens all those summers ago. Daddy and I have loved you from the beginning. Not just since Zach Galifaniskashasha wore you in The Hangover.

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